Our Commentary
We documented what the writing / recording process was like for each of us.
1. Birdies
song by Child A
commentary by Murphy
Child A modelled Birdies on ambient video game music. She loves animals and several are featured - including local ducks. At first, she tried singing but didn't like that our body's voice doesn't sound like her. She wanted to use our actual child voice, so we used recordings of us from ages 3 and 6. Although I handled some logistics, Child A led the process and had the final say. I asked her questions and she showed me what was missing. She improvised the guitar melody in the first take! Initially, I wanted Child A to do a song about trauma, but that was my vision - not hers. Just because a systemmate has trauma doesn't mean that's the only thing they can make art about. I had to help her do her song how she wanted. This helped my relationship with Child A and with the rest of the system.
2. Ground
song by Child B
commentary by Lea
When we were a kid, Child B struggled with emotions. We started piano at age 6 and it became a huge comfort. Child B's favorite piece was Folk Dance by Bartok, which is featured near the end of Ground. Ground's lyrics directly quote our journal from childhood and reference the time Child B spent by themself in nature. When I picture the memories in this song, I feel close to Child B, and we don't often feel close so that's special to me. Child B named the song Ground because they like the percussion synth noises we used, and because they love nature the most out of all of us.
3. 360 Mirror
song by Lea
commentary by Lea
Murphy and I spent our life thinking we were the same person. Murphy thought I was a mood swing or a their "good side" - but would that make Murphy my "bad side"? 360 Mirror is for Murphy to show that no systemmate is simply "the good one" or "the bad one". This song is also for me as I've been learning how to take care of my wants and needs instead of my systemmates'.
I love to sing. We sing low alto but I prefer mezzo, which is likely because I'm the most confident singer in our system. Despite this, recording my vocal part was difficult because Murphy got frontstuck. Murphy struggles with vocal confidence so ironically, those feelings pulled them forward and pushed me away. I internally coached Murphy so they were able to sing with me and not beat themself up. This a neat representation of our relationship packed into one song.
4. I Am An Animal
song by Leona & Murphy
commentary by Leona & Murphy
CW: medical trauma & hospitals
Leona says: she has a very difficult job and I Am An Animal is a glimpse into her reality. The lyrics to this piece are a poem she wrote about her medical trauma. Leona doesn't feel comfortable singing, so Lea and Murphy tried singing her poem, but she felt that didn't represent her. She found an automated voice and edited it to suit her. Leona's intention was to make the listener uncomfortable and replicate feelings of falling or spinning. The song features hospital machine beeping. We struggled with whether or not to include it, because it was hard for us to listen to and could be for others. We decided it's important to follow Leona's choice, but to also give a content warning.
5. Get Out the Way (cover)
song by Mother Mother
arrangement & commentary by Pyra
Mother Mother is our favorite band. We first started listening to them around the time that I formed. There are so many MM songs I could've covered that are important to me. During a bad time in my life, I listened to Get Out The Way on repeat. It made me feel powerful and that helped crystallize my identity. It was frustrating recording this because - in my opinion - our voice didn't do it justice. I wanted it to be more like the original but it didn't work. Murphy, Lea, and I all contributed vocally which was actually fun. I referenced two other Mother Mother songs in this one: the Hayloft riff at the end, and the piano part from Very Good Bad Thing. I'm not extremely pleased with this track but it's fine.
6. Weather
song by Murphy
commentary by Murphy
During the making of this album, there's been a lot of waiting -- waiting for people to front, for the urge to write, for confidence. When I wrote Weather, I'd had a bad day, and I guess it was the shittiness of the day that let me bypass my self consciousness. In the lyrics, I just narrated what I'd done that day and what I was thinking. The audio at the beginning is from the local forecast that week. Weather has some of my favorite sounds (a low melody, organ, major 7ths), and my voice actually feels like mine instead of Lea's or someone else's.
7. Stim
song by Ditto
commentary by Ditto & Bones
Ditto named themself after the expression "ditto" (or the shapeshifter Pokemon). Ditto mostly communciates by stimming vocally and repeating words and sounds. The clips from this song were taken from one day of Ditto walking around the kitchen. They pieced them together into this humourous and kinda unsettling ditty. Near the end, they say: "it's a little bit nipple-y out, innit" - which is their frequent phrase they say. But then they say: "innit a hair boob-y", which catches the rest of us off guard and we laugh. The most important part of Stim is that Ditto got to do what they wanted, no matter how unusual it is.